I was messaging a friend today and relayed what happened to me today in one of my messages and was minded to blog about it as it brings about what living with ASD kids can be like.
I'll start with Thomas. Last Tuesday me and Thomas went to Beale Park with Foundation, because he is in Foundation i get to go with him. We had a wonderful day and i brought Thomas a water pistol. After we got back to school we went to Nanny and Grandads so that he could show him what I had brought him and also tell them about his day on a coach. We left Nanny and Grandads and he left his water pistol in their living room. He wanted it back so he could test it out on his brother but as it was late by the time we got back from eating out that night I suggested that I got it for him tomorrow. He was happy with this. On the Wednesday it was David's school assembly and I mentioned to Nanny so she might come along and watch David has he had a speaking part. Nanny was late and arrived in a hurry after just getting back from the shops. We both went to pick Thomas up and Thomas enquired about his water pistol. Nanny didn't have it although had intended to pick up the water pistol but forgot in her rush to come and watch David. I told Thomas that i would get it that evening as it was David's cub's night and i had to drive past Nanny's house anyway. Thomas got upset and pushed his Nan a few times then threw his scooter at me and started hitting me. I had no idea what was happening but knew that Thomas was upset about something. This was in the school grounds and by the school gates. Every parent stopped and watched as Thomas continued to scream and shout and hit. I restrained him as i normally have to when he gets like this, keeping my focus on him completely. Talking to him as i normally do while the world looked on. 10 minutes and it was still raging. Now any normal mum without a child with ASD will just ignore the child or carry on walking home or drag them home. With an ASD child you can't. You have to deal with it there and then. Luckily one of Thomas' teachers has a 15 year old that also has ASD and so came to my rescue. She took Thomas with her and calmed him down. And it was all because he thought he wasn't going to get his water pistol for bath time.
Now David. Yesterday I discovered that David hasn't been shown his new class or new teacher and he told me that he was getting a little stressed out about it. Usually David gets to meet his new teacher a couple of times and visits his new classroom. So i wrote a little note to his teacher to express David's concerns.
David didn't have his usual teacher today which was upsetting enough for him. He had another teacher who is a lot older and doesn't really understand David or his needs. David gave her the note instead and she threw it back at him telling him that he was to give it to his normal teacher. She didn't say tomorrow or give a day when his normal teacher will be back. If she had done then the following wouldn't have happened.
On the way home from school, as normal, i ask the kids how there day was and David said that he had a bad day. So this is when i normally try to talk to David about what has happened in the day to find out what the trigger is of his mood. I started talking to him and he got off his bike and smashed it into my legs. I asked him why and he kicked me 3 times and then went for my head. I stopped him and again restrained him, he eventually calmed down after a lot of persuading from me and he told me what happened. So you see it's not the fact that he hasn't been to his class yet because he knows that he will get to see it as i will make sure of it because i promised to sort it out for him. He kicked off because his teacher, in more than likely an innocent way, that he should give the note to his teacher. But David didn't know when his teacher would be back. So he starts to panic that he will not be able to give the note to his teacher and then he won't get to see his new class or teacher before he breaks up from school.
Therefore, every action has a reaction and the reaction may not happen straightaway but could take a few hours or longer before an unexpected person gets the reaction of what was said or done. So think is all i ask and be mindful of the problems a ASD child has to face on a daily basis.
